


From Heaven to Hell

by Emybulby



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Car Accident, Chan wants to get his brother back, Felix angst, Hurt, Kidnapping, Me too..., Multiple Endings, Non-Consensual Touching, Please Don't Hate Me, SUFFER WITH ME, Sorry not sorry?, Torture, anything graphic will be warned, but will they succeed in doing so???, everyone is hurt, i love stray kids so much, idol obsession, light changlix (not much though...), obsessed fan, physically emotionally or both, they will all do everything they can to save him, why must I make them suffer like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-12-30 08:17:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18311759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emybulby/pseuds/Emybulby
Summary: A car accident wounds their group deeper than they could have ever imagined. A dear friend was taken from them, another one was left struggling for his life, and the others do everything they can to make sure that they all go back home together one day.orAn obsessed fan causes a car accident to kidnap Felix.





	1. Wounded

Chan was sitting beside Changbin’s hospital bed, just by the window of the room the unconscious boy shared with Jeongin, Jisung and Minho.

They were all still out cold, but their lives were not in danger. Their wounds were not life-threatening. The doctors had run all the needed tests.

Jeongin had a few cracked ribs and a few cuts and scrapes all over his body. Minho had a light concussion and a cut that had needed a few stitches behind his head. Jisung had a few scrapes and cuts on his face and considerable whiplash. Changbin also had whiplash, plus a concussion and a few cuts that had needed stitches on his arms and legs mainly.

Luckily, Chan, Seungmin and Hyunjin were barely wounded. They had only suffered some scrapes, light head trauma and slight whiplash. The three of them had regained consciousness quickly.

On the other hand, Woojin was in the worst shape of them all. Broken right arm and leg, concussion, internal bleeding… He was right where the car had been hit the worst during this terrifying accident. He was still in the intense care section of the hospital. They said his condition was stable now, but they had to keep him under watch for the next few days, to make sure that he was really out of the woods. Only close family members were allowed to visit. It was torture for Chan not to be able to see him.

But what was worst was that Felix was gone.

The police had said that they hadn’t found his… his body. Chan had almost lashed out at them for using that term. They couldn’t just assume that he was dead! It couldn’t be… But then they explained to him that Felix had been sitting the closest to the door, which was open when help got there, and he had been nowhere to be found. The police’s guess was that he might have been ejected from the vehicle. Since their accident had taken place on a bridge, the police had been searching the river underneath it since then, but they said that if he had really fallen over the bridge, which seemed like the most possible hypothesis at the moment, it would most likely take at least a week to retrieve him, if they did find him.

When they had told Chan, the leader had had a panic attack. He knew what they were trying to tell him. They were already giving up on Felix. They were inferring that he was most certainly dead.

He couldn’t breathe… He couldn’t…

He had blacked out after this, only to wake up again a few hours later to Hyunjin and Seungmin puffy eyes and sad expressions. They had been informed too.

Now, it had been a day since it had all happened. Hyunjin and Seungmin were sleeping on the couch outside the room. They refused to leave the hospital, or even go too far from the rest of the group, just like Chan. This whole thing was messed up. It was like it was out of a nightmare.

Chan wanted it to be just that more than anything else, but he had to face reality now.

As the group leader, he needed to accept it all and support the others.

His eyes darted to Changbin’s sleeping form.

How would he tell him about Felix?

It would crush him completely. They were best friends… And maybe even closer.  

A few tears fell down his cheeks at the hollow feeling in his chest, thinking about how a part of them was probably gone forever this time. It wasn’t like when Felix had been eliminated during their pre-debut… He was really gone for good now.

Nobody knew who had caused the accident, but it was a clear hit and run. The other vehicle involved, the person responsible for their suffering, was gone before the authorities got there. Chan didn’t know anything else about the investigation, but so far it seemed that they had no lead yet.

It was all so frustrating. Chan wanted to help, he was supposed to protect them all… But he was completely helpless. Waiting for his friends to wake up. Waiting for Woojin to either live or die. Waiting for Felix’s body to be found.

“Chan?” A rusty voice asked then.

Chan’s head flew up immediately, and his watery eyes met Changbin’s still drowsy ones.

“F-Felix?”

Chan’s throat constricted instantly at the simple question, and he couldn’t verbally formulate an answer. He turned his gaze away and shook his head in response. The beeping sound of the younger member’s heart rate monitor quickened.

“No, it can’t be…” Changbin breathed, tears forming in his eyes and despair appearing on his features. “Wha—Where…”

Chan couldn’t handle it anymore.

“I’m sorry...” He said with a watery voice. He took in a deep breath, he had to tell him now, rip off the bandage quickly and be done with it. “The police said he was probably ejected from the car and fell into the river… They haven’t found him yet.”

“No.”

Chan was about to argue, wanting to help Changbin face reality as well, but when he met the other’s eyes he instantly understood that the younger member knew something more, something important.

“He was beside me when the car stopped moving. I saw him, but I was… I couldn’t do anything. I saw someone taking him out of the car. Wasn’t it help?” Changbin looked confused now, visibly searching his fuzzy memories.

“Are you sure?” Chan asked, standing up, a small flicker of hope appearing in his heart.

Changbin nodded. “I was holding his hand before he was taken.”

Chan ran out of the room right away.

He needed to tell the police. Felix didn’t fall in the river, like they had thought. He should have been here in the hospital getting treatment, like the others. So, where was he? What had really happened?

Why was he missing?!

 

—

 

His head was hurting.

Why was it hurting so much?

And his body… It felt like he had been hit by a bus.

Oh…

Memories flashed in his mind then. Dizzying and disturbing.

Music, laughs, smiles… Changbin sitting beside him in the car… And then, a crash, screams, blood…

His eyes flew open. Where was he? What had happened? He found only darkness in front of him and he instantly started panicking. He tugged on his arms, trying to get his hands to his face, but was quickly stopped by an extreme pain in his left shoulder. He cried out and tried to take in deep breaths to calm his raging heart. He needed to calm down before he made himself pass out again.

After a moment, even if he was still terribly scared and confused, he was able to make out that he was tied to a chair, his arms behind his back and his ankles were also tied to the chair’s legs. Moving his brows a bit, he could also collect that there was a blindfold in front of his eyes, so he hadn’t become blind, which gave him some kind of relief. However, the movement caused him more pain on his forehead and he felt a wet substance, that he guessed was blood, drip down the side of his face.

After a moment, he had only heard himself moving, nothing else, which was awfully unnerving.

“H-hey?” He tried in a shaky voice full of fear he couldn’t repress. “I-is there someone?”

He focused his mind on any single sound he could hear, but only silence answered him. Tears fell down his eyes at the terror in his heart, making it hard to breathe again.

“Someone, please?”

Nothing.

“P-please… Please, help!”

Silence.

“Someone! Help me! Please!” He wailed in vain.

No. This couldn’t be real. No! No no no… He tugged at his tied members again, crying out once more at the sharp pain in his left shoulder, but completely overwhelmed by his fear to really care. He needed to get free!

Everything stopped suddenly when he heard a door open and close loudly, resonating in the silent place like thunder, making his whole body freeze instantly.

“Oh, you’re awake,” a masculine voice said casually behind him, making Felix jump at the startling sound and closeness of it.

“Who a-are you? What’s happening?” Felix asked, his whole body trembling in apprehension as the men walked around him until he was in front of the younger man.

Felix felt the air change around him as the man bent down, coming into his personal space.

“Curious, aren’t you?” The stranger murmured right beside Felix’s left ear, his disgustingly hot breath, reeking of alcohol, caressing Felix’s neck.

Felix flinched away from it immediately. The sound of the man’s voice was terribly disconcerting, drawing out Felix’s deepest dread. One of the man’s hands caressed his right cheek, and then forcefully took his jaw and pulled his face back to its original place. Felix’s breath quickened at the sudden handling, terror spiking up again in his chest.

The man laughed at Felix’s visibly terrified reaction. The sound of it was deep and unwelcome.

He finally let go of Felix’s jaw and slapped his cheek slightly.

“Don’t worry, Felix, we will have plenty of time to get to know each other.”

“Wha—“

“I’ve got a few things to prepare right now, though, so I’ll have to leave you here for a little bit longer. But I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“No… No, please, let me go…” Felix tried, alarmed at the implications of the man’s confusing words.

The man scoffed, and then Felix felt his presence behind him.

“Nah… Now that I finally have my hands on you, I’ll never let you go.”

Felix froze and the man left.

Tears fell down the young idol’s cheeks again and he felt cold all over.

He was still unsure of how he had ended up in this situation, and he still hoped it was all just a terrible nightmare.

He wanted to go back to his friends, be safe with them and feel their warm presence…

He wanted to go back home.


	2. Dark Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi dear readers!! 
> 
> This is my first work in this fandom, and I'm very new to Kpop (but I'm already addicted to it). Anyway, this story is already mostly completed, so you can be sure that it will be posted in its entirety some day. I will update a new chapter about 2 times a week. 
> 
> I strongly suggest you read the tags. Any trigger warning will be put before triggering parts... (if I should add or change a tw, please let me know) 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll like this overly angsty fic :) 
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT ^,^
> 
> Thanks!!

“We’re going to search nearby hospitals and update you as soon as we find your friend. For now though, we would like to know if you remember anything from the accident,” the police officer asked the 7 group members in the room.

They all stayed silent, searching their memories for things they might remember. They had all lost consciousness as far as Chan knew, only Changbin had shared memories of the accident with him.

Chan was about to answer negatively for everyone, but then Jisung spoke up hesitantly.

“I think… There was a van.”

Jisung’s eyes were glazed over as he continued his explanation.

“I was looking at Woojin and… and we were laughing. I saw the van speed up, but I didn’t think much of it, until…”

Chan stood up and grabbed Jisung’s hand, coming into his line of vision. He was breathing hard.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, take deep breaths.” He turned to look at Hyunjin that was also getting closer the bed, clearly wanting to help. “Go get a nurse,” Chan mouthed to him, then turned back to Jisung who’s heartbeat and breathing was still too fast. “You’re ok, Jisung, calm down. Come on, breathe in…”

Jisung looked up at him, panic still clear in his eyes. It made Chan’s heart sink.

“Breathe out…” He continued, repeating the instructions.

Jisung tried his best to follow, but he struggled at first. It took a couple of minutes, but he finally calmed down. The nurses didn’t intrude on them, seeing as Chan was doing good to soothe his dongsaeng’s panic attack.

“Sorry, I-I don’t know what…” Jisung stuttered after a moment, looking around the silent room, embarrassed.

“It’s totally normal, don’t worry,” the nurse beside the bed told him with a soft smile, handing him a cup of water. “You experienced something traumatic, this kind of reaction when recalling such things is really common, so don’t worry about it too much.”

She left after that, smiling at Chan softly. The group’s leader stayed by Jisung’s side. He needed his support.

“It was a black van,” Minho said then to everyone’s surprise. “I saw it too, before I blacked out.”

“Give us as much details as you can remember,” the police officer encouraged him.

“I think there was some rusty part on the driver’s side. It was dark, and with the accident and everything... I couldn’t see anything much,” Minho added.

“What about the car brand?”

“Maybe Hyundai?” Minho answered, looking at Jisung for confirmation, but he was out of it now and didn’t seem to want think about it anymore, which was totally understandable.

The officers thanked them for their help and left a few minutes later. They were all drained. Chan held Jisung’s hand until the other boy fell asleep. Seungmin and Hyunjin were sitting on the ground beside Jeongin’s bed. The three of them were talking softly, and Chan noticed them even smiling faintly when Seungmin said something. Minho looked asleep too, but something was telling Chan that he wasn’t completely out yet. He needed rest too, clearly, like all of them actually. He walked back to Changbin’s side, knowing that it was probably the hardest for him, not to have any news about Felix yet.

“He must be safe in another hospital. Don’t worry,” Chan told him.

“He has to,” Changbin answered, and a heavy silence settled between them for a moment. “Do… Do you have news about Woojin?”

Chan felt a pang of fear in his heart at the mention of his dear member, still in intensive care.

“No, nothing yet,” he admitted.

“He’s gonna make it,” Changbin said then.

“Hey, it’s my role to cheer you up, not the other way around,” Chan laughed lightly.

Changbin let out a small laugh in answer as he shrugged, not minding supporting his leader too. It was nice, because for this small moment, it seemed like the weight on their body and soul had lifted a bit.

There was still hope.

 

-

[TW: Non-con (kinda)]

Felix woke up with a start as he heard the deafening sound of the door close. His heartbeat skyrocketed right away, terror taking a hold of him.

“Hi there, Felix. Everything’s ready now…” The man announced putting his hands on both of the younger man’s shoulders and squeezing, drawing out a blood-curdling scream from Felix who almost passed out once more as his clearly dislocated shoulder throbbed with pain. “You have such a good voice when you scream. So perfect, even when you’re hurt…”

A shiver ran through Felix’s body, sweat covering his body now as he tried to get his breathing back under control. The man let go of him and started moving around him, doing things Felix frustratingly couldn’t see, because of the blindfold still covering his eyes.

“Let me go…” He tried weakly.

“Never.”

“Please…”

The man scoffed. “I like it when you beg. Come on, continue, don’t hold back.”

He heard the man crouch down beside him and a few seconds later Felix’s left leg was free.

“W-why? Why are you doing this?”

Felix was a trembling mess, his heart beating fast in terror of the uncertainty of the situation and the fact that he was kept against his will by a creepy man. Said man moved to the other side of the chair and untied the other leg.

Felix was confused. Why was the man freeing him? It didn’t feel right, and even if he hated being tied to the chair, something deep inside him was telling him that what awaited him was definitely worse.

“I’m a fan, you see. When I saw you… When I heard your voice…” He let out a disgusting groan. “I just couldn’t help myself, you see. I needed to make you mine.”

Felix hated the sound of the man’s voice, the clear obsession in it. It disturbed him, made him so uncomfortable he felt nauseous.

“What are you gonna do with me?” Felix asked, his voice as shaky as his whole body felt, fear growing as he realized the implications of the question.

The man moved behind him and Felix felt him lean against his right cheek and neck. He flinched at the unwanted contact.

“I’ll keep you all to myself and we’ll have a lot of fun times together. We’ll be together forever, my pretty little doll,” the man said, excitement palpable in his voice.

A sob made its way out of Felix’s mouth. He was even more terrified now.

“Please, don’t…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you.”

Felix let out another sob, tears streaming down his cheeks. Suddenly, a cloth gag was forcefully put in his mouth and the conversation ended. Felix let out a muffled scream when he was lifted from his sitting position by his right arm, reawakening the unbearable pain in his left shoulder, as is wrists were still tied behind his back. His captor dragged him outside, Felix’s feet barely touching the ground the whole time. The man was definitely really tall and strong. A car door was opened. Felix let out another loud scream as his body was thrown inside the car almost carelessly and he fell on his hurt shoulder. He was getting terribly exhausted, having to deal with the pain and the fear. He wanted it to stop.

He just wanted it all to stop.

The man turned on the car and put on some music. Felix recognized it right away, it was Stray Kids’ music, of course, and the sound of his friends’ voices made his heart clench. He missed them… He missed them so damn much… And he was so scared.

Then he remembered… The accident… They had been in a car accident. While he was worried about himself, he hadn’t thought of it, but now he realized that they had probably been gravely wounded. Were they safe?

Shit!

 

[flashback – TW: Blood, car accident]

_“Fe… lix?”_

_Everything hurt. He felt dizzy. Why was he so uncomfortable?_

_Felix barely opened his eyes as Changbin intertwined his fingers in his inert ones. Felix would’ve liked to have the force to squeeze his hand back, reassure him, but he just couldn’t._

_“Lix…” Changbin sobbed weakly, his cracking voice breaking Felix’s heart._

_‘Sorry Binnie,’ Felix thought, unable to voice any word in response._

_From his fading consciousness, he made out a bit of the other members in front of him. They were motionless, blood dripping down their wounds and… and pooling on the roof of the car. Oh… The car was upside-down._

_Hands touched him then and darkness swallowed him once more._

[End of flashback]

 

No… No, his friends, his brothers… What had happened to them? Were they safe? Even more tears fell down his face as he realized that he wasn’t even sure if they were all still safe and sound…. All still alive. Why? Why had his life suddenly become hell?

The man sang to his band’s songs and Felix fell asleep, too drained to stay awake any longer, wanting nothing more than for the darkness to take over again.


	3. Restrained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi dear readers, 
> 
> This chapter is a bit longer than the past ones, but I really wanted to make it super angsty, not only for Felix... Yeah, I like pain. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll like this chapter :) 
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT! <3
> 
> Thanks!

Jisung sighed in defeat. He had been trying to reach the water cup left on the table beside his hospital bed, extending his arm as much as he could without result. He closed his eyes in frustration and let out an annoyed groan at his failed attempt.

He really couldn’t move with the neck and spinal braces limiting his movements. He could only take them off when the doctors were with him to make small movements and assess the progression of his recovery, but it had only been a little more than a day since he woke up, so he had only had one visit so far and it had been a real pain. Literally. His whole spine was hurting really bad when he moved, but the doctors had reassured him that he would most certainly recover completely with time and care.

Damn he was thirsty… If only Chan, Seungmin and Hyunjin weren’t all gone to get some proper food instead of the disgusting meals the hospital was trying to feed them.

“Want this?”

Jisung opened his eyes to look at Minho who was handing him the so-wanted cup of water.

“Thanks,” Jisung answered, taking a sip from the cup right away with a relieved smile. “You ok? Shouldn’t you stay in bed too?”

“I only have to be careful with the stitches behind my head, and I have a few soreness, but no bad whiplash, unlike you,” Minho told him.

“Lucky you,” Jisung commented.

“Yeah… I guess.”

Minho looked uncertain, it annoyed Jisung.

“What’s going on?”

“I… I wish I could have taken your place, or Woojin’s, or… or even Felix’s. It’s hard to see you all hurt like this.”

“Don’t dare say that!” Jisung screamed then, not caring about disturbing the others’ rest. He needed to clarify this with Minho before he felt remorse or any kind of unnecessary negative emotions. They were already affected enough as it was by this whole event. If Jisung could at least help Minho get through this, then he had to! “Listen, I understand how you feel, but… we wouldn’t want you more than them in the same situation. I wouldn’t want you being stuck in bed like this over me,” Jisung motioned to his body covered in uncomfortable braces. “I think we should just all be glad that it wasn’t worse than this. I mean… We could’ve all died, y’know.”

The weight of Jisung words seemed to settle in Minho’s chest as the older man looked away, embarrassed by the lecture he had just gotten from his dongsaeng.

“Do you think we could have prevented it though?” Jeongin asked to their surprise.

His bed was across from Jisung’s. He looked still tired, but he had visibly heard Jisung’s speech.

“What do you mean? There really isn’t much we could’ve done, it was a car accident,” Jisung said.

“But what if it wasn’t?”

“What do you mean?” Minho asked.

“I think I saw it. The van… Hanging around the studio and around our place too. I thought that it might just be someone living close by, but… It had rust on the driver’s side and it was a Hyundai, like hyung said. It could be the same van…”

“I thought about it too,” Changbin joined in, and everyone turned to look at him, not having noticed that he was awake too. “But we still don’t know if he really isn’t in another hospital.”

“If he’s not…” Jisung started, unable to continue.

“It would mean that Felix was taken before help even got there to some unknown place and probably by the van driver… who caused the car accident,” Changbin continued.

“Which means… the van driver meant to cause the accident?” Jeongin said hesitantly, unsure of his own conclusion.

“Isn’t that a bit too far-fetched, though? I mean, why go so far and endanger him in the process?” Jisung asked.

“Maybe the creep didn’t care if he got him alive or not,” Minho said, the implication of his words making their heart sink.

“That’s too many ’maybe’s.” Jinsung decided. “There’s no way… And if it was really like this, the creep must have had really good knowledge about car crashes so he wouldn’t have been in danger as well.”

Even if they were trying to discard this hypothesis, something inside them all was telling them that it was worth considering.

“Damn, what’s with the mood? Did something happen?” Hyunjin asked as he entered the room with Seungmin and Chan, all carrying bags of food from a restaurant near the hospital.

“No, we were just thinking about the accident… and Felix,” Minho informed them as he walked back to his bed.

The trio made their way inside, their smiles dropping at Minho’s words. Felix… The simple mention of his name brought them some deep anguish, and Chan just couldn’t allow the mood to stay down again.

“Let’s eat while the food’s still hot,” Chan told them. “I took all your favourite orders.”

“Thanks, hyung! It smells good!” Jeongin exclaimed.

Everyone joined in. Even if the mood was still a bit heavy, they were all trying to cheer each other up. They needed to get back up from this terrible event. Neither Woojin nor Felix would want them to sulk and remain in a state of misery. And when Woojin and Felix would be back, the rest of the group would be ready to welcome them with open arms and smiles brighter than the sun.

There was still hope.

And they were all clinging to it like their life depended on it.

No matter the terrible thoughts and trauma still affecting them.

 

—

 

[TW: Violence, mental and physical abuse, blood…]

Felix woke up to an unbearable pain in his left shoulder. He screamed his voice raw, sound still muffled by the gag in his mouth.

“See? I told you I’d take care of you,” his captor said, and Felix barely heard it through the loud sound of his frantically beating heart in his temple and his harsh breathing. “I put your shoulder back in place. Now, it won’t hurt as much anymore, but it will probably stay tender for a while.”

Felix was lifted from where he was lying, which was still the backseat of the car probably. He was put on the man’s shoulder, triggering pains throughout his body, and carried inside what he supposed was a new building.

“I prepared everything. I hope you’ll like your new room.”

Felix felt dizzy and nauseous, being carried head down like this, probably because of a concussion. The man was clearly physically fit, which was of no reassurance to Felix at all. The man walked down a couple of stairs before they finally reached the so-called room. He heard a click as the door was unlocked, and then he was thrown on the ground, generating another pained muffle scream from Felix.

The captor grabbed his ankle and tug on it. Felix instinctively kicked out in front of him, striking the man right in the face. He didn’t think about it twice when he heard a loud thud from the man probably falling to the ground, followed by a groan. Even if he was blindfolded, he had to try to escape. He stood up on shaky legs and ran in the direction that seemed to be that of the door. His right shoulder hit the doorframe, but he made it through, thanking any higher power that had made so it wouldn’t be his still tender left shoulder that hit the doorframe. This small victory didn’t last though as his whole body slammed into another wall. Not being able to see was really the worst. Still, he kept going, turning to the left, running toward what he believed was the stairs. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins, making him care less about how this whole escape attempt would most likely fail. He had to try… Even if there was almost no hope, he was clinging to the possibility of a miracle. Maybe… Just maybe, he could make it out, be free, escape what more frightening treatment awaited him in the hands of this clearly insane man.

And just as he stumbled into the stairs, a hand grabbed him by his hair and tugged backward. Felix cried out at the pain on his scalp.

“That was a mistake, dear,” the man said in a dangerous tone.

He dragged Felix by his hair all the way back to the room. When Felix was thrown on the ground inside it once more, the man closed and locked the door right after. Felix let out a defeated sob as he tried to crawl away from the audibly approaching man.

“Now, you won’t. Ever. Escape. Me.” The man said angrily, taking Felix’s ankle again with a bruising grip this time and quickly putting a metal cuff around it before finally letting Felix go. Felix tried to get it off with his other foot, but it was useless.

“Let’s get this off, now,” his captor said, grabbing Felix’s jaw tightly and bringing him forward.

The man took off the blindfold and Felix never thought he would feel such relief in the hands of this man. The room was lighted only by a weak hanging light above them, but Felix’s eyes could easily make out the features of the man towering over him, still holding his jaw. He looked… Normal, too normal. He had short brown hair, slanting dark eyes, a strong jaw… The only thing confirming that he was really deranged was the terrifying look of lust in his eyes.

The man let go of him with a satisfied smile, stood up and looked around proudly.

“What do you think? I wanted to show you my infatuation for you. To make you feel my love for you.”

Felix looked around then and was instantly troubled by the ridiculous amounts of posters, pictures, albums and such, all related to him. No… This was really crazy, not that Felix had thought the man was ever sane, but it way surpassed the fan-level, there wasn’t a piece of the room left uncovered, even the floor and ceiling were like this. It was horrifying. Felix looked back at the man, scared of what would happen now.

When their eyes met, his captor crouched back down to his level.

“You’re mine now,” he smiled, a crazy laugh bubbling out of his throat.

Felix scrambled back, trying to get as far away as possible from the terrifying man. His back hit the wall behind him then, and the man crawled up to him his hand extending toward Felix to caress the side of his face. Felix flinched away. He was a trembling teary mess.

“Why are you crying? Don’t you like it?”

Felix shook his head vigorously, screaming in objection. He wanted to get away from him. So far away that he would never see him again!

But then, the man grabbed him by the neck and pushed him solidly back to the wall behind him. Felix was choking on his strong hold, but couldn’t fully focus on the distressing feeling as he was slapped…

“YOU!”

And again…

“ARE!”

And again…

“MINE!”

And again.

“IS IT CLEAR!? So be a good boy, and be thankful for all the hard work I put in to make this room and bring you here. OK?!”

Felix was still shocked by it all for a moment before he nodded instinctively, too scared to oppose him once more. The man smiled at him then, satisfied, and let him go. Felix slumped against the wall, breathing heavily and completely traumatized by the man’s anger and violence. Felix’s tormentor repeatedly caressed the side of his face again with a shaky hand, as if trying to comfort him.

“Now, stay here without making any trouble, alright? I’m gonna get a few things for tonight, so just relax while I’m gone.”

The man stood up and left, leaving Felix alone in this creepy room. The young idol stayed slumped against the wall, letting anguish-filled tears stream out his eyes again. The uncomfortable tightness around his throat, the burning sensation on his right cheek and the cold of the metal cuff around his ankle made it all just so real and even more terrifying.

He was already falling apart.

He hoped that at least his friends were safe.

Please, let them be safe…

 

—

 

They were all finally sleeping. Chan closed his eyes for a moment, relaxing and ready to join them all for a well-deserved nap in the chair beside Changbin’s bed… but then an urgent voice called a doctor on the intercom to a room. He wouldn’t have minded it if the number of the room didn’t instantly catch Chan’s attention.

It was Woojin’s room.

He stood up right away and headed to it, following nurses and doctors hastily making their way to it too in the intensive care section of the hospital.

“What’s going on?” He asked, concerned as he arrived to Woojin’s room.

His eyes fell on the spasming form on the bed in the room he had just entered. Woojin… He was covered in bandages, right arm and leg elevated and covered in casts, tubes inserted in his mouth, and lower face covered by an oxygen mask.

Chan’s heart skipped a couple of beats and picked up on overtime.

No… This couldn’t be real. He was supposed to be ok. Woojin wasn’t supposed to look as wounded as that!

“He’s having a seizure,” a nurse informed the doctors.

“What is he doing here? Take him out of here!” Another nurse said, talking about Chan who was frozen in the entrance of the room.

Hands grabbed him, but he struggled against the people trying to get him out.

“No… No, Woojin! WOOJIN!” He screamed, voice breaking with the emotions, as he was dragged away from the room and into the waiting room of the intensive care unit.

Tears fell down his face as he collapsed to the ground. A nurse stayed with him, talking to him through the distressed state he was in.

After a moment, he was able to stand up and sit on a chair in the waiting room. The nurse gave him a cup of tea and made sure he was calmer before she left, going back to her duties. After a few minutes, someone approached him.

“Hi, are you Chan? From Stray Kids, right?” A young man asked.

Chan didn’t feel like answering. He really didn’t want to chat with fans when going through such things.

“I’m Woojin’s brother,” the young man said then.

Chan looked up then, and noticed the resemblance right away. They were definitely related. Chan could also see the same deep concern in Woojin’s brother’s eyes as he himself felt in his soul in this moment.

“Oh, hi, nice to meet you,” Chan answered, half-heartedly.

Woojin’s brother sat beside Chan.

“Would’ve liked to meet you in better circumstances,” Woojin’s brother admitted. “Our parents are on their way…”

“He’s… He’s having a seizure,” Chan let out.

It still seemed unreal to him.

“I know… But he’ll get through it. Woojin is strong.”

He was clearly trying to convince himself of that, but it somehow reassured Chan a bit too, because Woojin’s brother was right. He had to have faith in him. He had to…

After that, they sat in silence, but it was ok for the both of them. At least, they weren’t waiting for news on Woojin alone. Chan prayed that they wouldn’t get bad ones.

That he wouldn’t have to inform the others of... of Woojin’s death.

It would destroy them completely.

It would destroy _him_ completely.


	4. Affliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 
> 
> Things will progressively get heavier. :)
> 
> I hope you'll like this super angsty chapter (they will all be like that, so you know)! 
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT <3
> 
> Thanks!!

**[TW: Blood]**

Felix had examined himself as best he could, knowing he was hurt in the car accident. He was covered in bruises and both dried and fresh blood. Some cuts on his arms and legs were pretty deep, they should’ve probably needed stitches. At least, the amount of blood he was still losing didn’t look too concerning. His head and shoulder were still throbbing, and it was hard to fight against the waves of exhaustion that washed over him every couple of minutes. He wanted to let them swallow him back into the darkness. He wanted to just sleep and get out of this hell, even if only in his dreams, but he couldn’t just do that either. Now that he wasn’t blindfolded anymore, he wasn’t as helpless. He had to get away from his captor, he had to find a way to escape.

Around the room, there wasn’t anything of use really. It was frustrating. His movements were also limited, his ankle chained to the centre of the room. He had tried tugging on it, but it seemed to be stuck deep in the cold cemented floor.

After analyzing his situation as best he could, he came up with a couple of steps he needed to do when he would try to escape once more. He needed a way to knock out his captor, take the key to free him from the cuff around his ankle, then run out of there… Oh, and he needed the keys of the man’s car so he could also get as far away as possible from where the hell he was as quickly as possible. Yeah, just that… He needed to do just that… With his hands still tied together… Shit, how could he drive with his hands tied together?! Ok, he needed to get untied in the process of it all.

Yeah, his plan was really looking great so far…

And how would he be able to knock out the man? He hadn’t even been able to do that with a kick to the face, and he had struck him hard.

Felix was weak, but he knew he had to try again, no matter how hopeless it seemed. He had to fight, even if he felt completely powerless. Nothing was futile until he had tried everything.

He had to escape and make it back to his friends…

No matter what…

 

—

 

Chan made his way inside the room where he had left the other members earlier, they were all still there, and as soon as he entered, they started shouting questions at him. They were all asleep when he had left, but now they were all very well awake and clearly concerned. Maybe they had heard him run out? Anyway, he heard Woojin’s name amongst the chaos of questions and it was enough for him to decide where to begin with the news.

“Woojin’s stable again,” he silenced them. “He had a seizure, but he’s ok now. They said it can happen when someone has had a head trauma and internal bleeding, but his condition is back under control now.”

Everyone exhaled, as if they had all been holding their breaths until he finished speaking. Woojin was ok… Not completely out of the woods yet, but he was still here, with them, alive.

“I also met Woojin’s brother and parents. They said that, so far, they can’t really say how he’ll get out of this, but the doctors told them there is still hope that he can make a full recovery…”

It wasn’t the most encouraging information, but there was hope and they all needed a bit of it in these uncertain times.

“I gave Woojin’s brother my number, so he’ll call me right away if anything new happens. I also talked to the police on my way there.” Chan took a deep breath before continuing. He had to tell them what was going on, even if it hurt to say it, because it made all this so much more real. “Felix wasn’t admitted in any hospital near the accident, so they are thinking… They are thinking that someone might have taken him. The police said that they are now actively searching for Felix as a missing person, and every information media has been notified of the van the police is looking for.”

Chan sighed. This wasn’t super encouraging either. Felix was still missing, and worst of all, he was probably in danger somewhere, held by a creepy stranger.

There was silence as everyone’s thoughts wandered to unknown, probably grim, places.

“Just like we were talking about the other day…” Minho said in a defeated tone.

“Can’t we help find him?” Hyunjin asked then, standing up from the place where he was sitting beside Seungmin.

“Yeah! We can’t just do nothing!” Jisung agreed.

“You can’t even stand up by yourself,” Minho countered.

“Don’t you want to help too?” Changbin asked, and Chan knew the conversation was getting out of control.

They were all emotionally exhausted and physically hurt, things could go down too easily in times like these. It wasn’t Minho’s type to get angry like he was about to. Chan saw the irritation and exhaustion on his dongsaeng’s face, as he started talking. 

“Of course, you dumb…”

Chan interrupted him before he said something he would regret.

“Ok, that’s enough, calm down everyone!” He demanded firmly.

At least, they all listened to their hyung. Chan looked around, assessing everyone’s physical state and clear desire to help in all their eyes.

“Since, Seungmin, Hyunjin and I don’t have any limiting injury, we’ll do what we can to try and find him, but you four have to focus on resting and healing,” he decided, pointing at the 4 other members stuck in bed.

“Wait… What about you? Are you gonna be ok, Chan?” Jeongin asked, visibly worried about him.

So, Jeongin had noticed… Chan wasn’t sleeping well. He was shouldering everything as best he could. He was exhausted, but he just needed to be there for them all, to help find Felix, to be there for Woojin and his family. He had to do this, because they were like his family. He cared so much about them. He couldn’t let them fall apart.

“Yeah, I’m good, just… just a bit overwhelmed by all this, but, it’s true, we should do everything we can to find Felix as soon as possible. We have to bring him back home.”

The other members smiled understandingly at him. They all felt bad for putting all the pressure on him. They were aware of it, yet they couldn’t help it. He was their leader, but he was also just a young man, like them all.

Soon, things would go back to normal, right?

And then they could really all rest.

Yeah, soon everything would be back to normal…

 

—

 

**[TW: blood, violence, non-con, nudity…]**

 

“I’m back, my dear Felix! I brought you some food, I hope you’ll like it,” the man announced, entering the room and walking up to his victim.

Felix vainly scrambled to the back of the room, in a corner, desperately wanting to get as far away from him as possible. But, really, he couldn’t do much in his situation…

The man put the tray he was bringing down to the ground and crouched down to gently grab Felix’s face. He looked at him all over, making Felix shake in fear. The man’s fingers passed over Felix’s trembling lips before it finally tugged on the gag inside Felix’s mouth and removed it.

“There, it’ll be easier this way.”

“P-please,” Felix tried again. “Let me go.”

The man sighed in disappointment.

“Stop with that already… Not the begging part, though, that I like. But I’ll never let you go, so just accept that you’re mine now, it’ll make things easier for both of us.”

Felix clenched his teeth in anger. He was so tired, so done! He had reached his limit. He couldn’t take it anymore. For a moment, all his fears dissolved almost completely and only anger remained.

“I’ll never be yours!” He screamed with a confidence and a determination he didn’t even know he still had.

That was a mistake, and he knew it instantly as the man’s aura became unbearably suffocating and dominating, his eyes looking darkly at Felix as he stood up and towered over him, making Felix try to appear smaller against the wall behind him. The first hit was stronger than he expected. It almost knocked him out right away. Then came other punches and kicks. Felix felt disoriented and it made everything so much more painful.

When the man was done, the hurt idol was unable to move, slumped on the ground, new blood staining his clothes, trickling down his face, and dripping to the floor underneath him.

He thought the man would leave, but he didn’t, manhandling him instead, despite Felix’s whimpers. The man freed him from the ties around his wrists, but the younger man didn’t have the energy or will to do anything against the man’s unwanted touch. At least until he felt him starting to undress him of his shirt. He struggled as much as he could in his weakened state, but it was useless. And then the man tugged on his pants and underwear.

“Please… Please don’t…”

Felix cried, feeling utterly helplessness and horrified, any attempt at escaping the man’s touch or preventing him from undressing him not doing anything in the end. When his pants were removed from his left leg completely, the man tugged on his legs and forced him on his belly before straddling him backward.

Felix’s nails were scratching the ground as he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth, unable to do anything else through his hurt, exposed and terrified state.

He felt the cuff around his right ankle being unlocked for a small instant as the remaining of his clothes were entirely removed, before the cuff was put back.

Then the man stood up, and Felix scrambled weakly back to the corner, desperately trying to hide his now naked body from the man’s uncomfortable stare. The man left for a moment and then came back with a bucket. Felix gasped as he was splashed with cold water, the liquid burning the cuts covering his body. His captor then crouched down in front of him and wiped his entire body with a wet cloth.

“There’s not much else I can do until you become totally docile, but that should be enough for now.”

Felix whimpered as the man roughly scrubbed the cloth over his wounded body. He couldn’t get away from the unwanted attention, the man holding him strongly with his free hand. It took too long and it was painful. Even if it cleaned him of some of the blood, new blood dripped down the reopened wounds and the new ones.

But he could somewhat handle it until… Until the man forced his legs apart to wash his private parts. A renewed fight gave Felix enough adrenaline to try once more to push the man away, only for him to put his hand on Felix’s mouth and force the boy down on his back.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” the man murmured in Felix’s ear. “You’re so beautiful, even when you’re hurt like this…”

Felix cried and trashed, but the man was too strong. He shivered in shame and despair until the man was finally done cleaning him. Then, his tormentor simply left with the younger man’s clothes, a disgusting satisfied smile on his lips.

Felix felt so terribly scared and exposed.

It was too much for him.

He was losing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr: Wakeyx. Don't hesitate to come talk to me as well, I'm always looking for more friends ^,^


	5. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi dear readers! 
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter. It's angsty but less shocking than the last one, I think. 
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT! <3
> 
> Thanks!!

“That’s what they told us about their hypothesis,” Hyunjin finished explaining as Seungmin, Chan and he was walking out of the hospital.

“There’s too much uncertainty to really consider it, but… It could still be some kind of lead, right?” Seungmin stated.

“Then, if the person knew what they were doing… The most logical lead would to search for a professional stunt artist,” Chan stated.

Hyunjin took out his phone instantly, searching for agencies near their location.

“Let’s make a few phone calls then?”

They didn’t know if what they were doing was really helping, but at the very least they needed to try and this lead was all they really had so far.

Chan hoped this would get them closer to finding Felix.

They missed him so much already.

 

—

 

[TW: Nudity, violence]

Felix cried of shame, pain and exhaustion as he remained on the ground, embracing himself as if it could protect him from the coldness of the room and the trauma of being beaten, stripped and touched in places he wouldn’t want any stranger to even graze.

Hours later, when he had had enough of crying and the desire for retaliation took over his whole being, Felix finally stood up and ripped off every single poster in the room, screaming in rage and despair. On all of them, he remembered taking the pictures. He remembered how he felt like living in a dream. He remembered how he still couldn’t believe that his aspirations were coming true. It hurt now, to look at them, to see his own carefree smile… He hated all these pictures so much now! He wanted them gone!

Once they were all ripped to pieces, Felix collapsed to the ground, clenching his hair in his hands. He should’ve listened to his parents. He should’ve stayed in Australia. If he had done so, he wouldn’t be kept against his will in this cold room now.

He… He regretted becoming an idol. He was so scared, completely terrified, at the idea that he might never get out of here. That he might never see the sky again… or hug his mom… or see his friends smile…

Was it all really worth it to have accomplished his dream of becoming an idol only to end up in this horrible place?

When his eyes fell on the back of a ripped poster that previously had a photo of all of them together, his thoughts went back to the other band members, his brothers. He extended his shaking fingers toward the picture.

It hurt to realize that he was falling apart faster than he would’ve thought.

He was really weak, uh?

He retracted his hand back to his chest.

Everything hurt so much…

 

—

 

“…Yes. Yes, it’s me. Thank you. Hum, actually, you might be able to help me. I’m looking for someone. Do you have an employee who drives a black van? Is the brand a Hyundai? Ok… Why? Can you give me more info? I see…”

Seungmin and Hyunjin looked expectantly at their leader as he wrote a phone number on a piece of paper. It was the longest conversation one of them had had so far. When he ended the call, he looked at the both of them as if he couldn’t believe the conversation he had just had.

“I found him, the guy with the van. It’s exactly how Minho and Jisung described it and… and the employer gave me his name and phone number,” Chan announced.

“We have to tell the police! It might really be him!” Hyunjin said, heading back inside the hospital to tell police officers responsible for the investigation right away.

Chan’s heart was beating so fast in his chest. Was it real? Was their lead the real thing?

Everything seemed to be heading in the right direction.

The sooner they got their brother back, the better.

 

—

 

[TW: Violence, blood]

Felix cried out in pain as the leather belt hit his already abused back for the 15th time already, each strike drawing more blood and more pain.

“Please… Please stop… I’m sorry,” Felix sobbed loudly as the man was preparing for another hit. “I’ll do everything you want, just… just please stop.”

The man stopped moving then, and Felix realized what he had just said. Just as the man was about to say something a ringtone resounded in the room. The man took the call.

“Hey, Bob. What’s going on? Y’know I’m on vacation for two weeks… Oh. Yeah, I kinda know him, but I’m more acquainted with another member of their group. Why? Oh, ok, thanks for telling me. Hey, I really gotta go now, so let’s talk another time, ok? Bye, man.”

Felix’s captor cursed loudly as he hung up and Felix was left confused and hurting on the ground under the man’s hold on him, keeping him in place face to the ground with a hand on the back of his head. His captor seemed really upset for some reason, and Felix didn’t like it at all.

“You have smarter friends than I thought. They tracked me down it seems.”

A flicker of hope appeared in Felix’s heart at the man’s words. His brothers… They were looking for him. For the first time in the past few days, he felt a bit of warmth inside him.

“Call him. What’s his name already? Chan? Yeah, that’s the one who found me, so call him,” the man ordered him, handing him his phone.

“W-what?”

“Call him!”

Felix took the phone in his trembling hands and composed Chan’s phone number right away. He waited for him to answer, his heart beating fast in his chest at the idea of hearing his brother’s voice again, and just when he was starting to lose hope, he finally answered.

“Hello?”

His voice was hesitant, almost apprehensive. Felix let out a sob, his heart aching in longing, but also in relief.

“Chan…”

“Felix! Oh my God, Felix, is that really you?! Are you ok? Where are you?”

Before Felix could answer anything, the phone was snatched away from him.

“Hi, Chan. Seems like you found out who I am. I hope you haven’t told the police yet, because that would be really bad you see. So, let me be clear with you, alright? If you tell anyone, if anyone gets close to this place, I’ll kill him right away.”

Felix heard Chan trying to reason with him, but the man cut him almost right away.

“HE IS MINE! IF I CAN’T HAVE HIM, NO ONE CAN!” The man screamed and Felix trembled in fear at the loud sound of his voice, scrambling away from him.

He was such a coward, unable to fight back, letting the fear in his heart control him completely. Felix was disgusted with himself, but he couldn’t do anything against this irritating feeling. It was more than just a psychological fear, it came from deeper, it was instinctive and it was strong. He just couldn’t do anything against it.

After a moment of silence, the man finally took a deep breath and continued. “I’m taking good care of him, so you don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Chan spoke to him then and the man seemed to consider what Felix’s hyung had told him. His captor then put the phone on speaker mode.

“There, you can talk to him. That’ll be your last time, so make it count.”

“Felix?” Chan’s voice was uncertain.

“Chan, how’s everybody? Are you all ok? The accident…” Felix asked then.

“Of course, you would ask about the others…” Chan scoffed, his voice full of emotion. “Woojin’s condition is stable for now. The others are ok. Don’t worry about us, we’ll be alright. What about you? Are you hurt?”

“That’s out of bounds,” Felix’s captor interrupted.

“You said you were taking care of him!” Chan reminded him angrily.

Felix saw anger and annoyance grow quickly on his captor’s face, so he intervened before their conversation was shortened.

“I’m ok, hyung!” Felix reassured Chan, wincing at the burning sensation on his back. “I’m ok…”

If he knew how much he really wasn’t ok…

There was a small moment of silence.

“What should I do, Felix? You… You heard him, I can’t…” Chan couldn’t finish his sentence, it was clearly too hard to muster the terrible words.

“It’s ok, Chan. I… I get it. I love you all so much. Please tell everyone,” Felix sobbed in defeat.

The flicker of hope he felt was already extinguishing. He wanted Chan to come for him even if his life was in danger though. He just didn’t want to stay with this horrible man any longer. He preferred… He preferred dying.

“Y-yeah…” Chan sniffled.

“And… Tell them I’m sorry I won’t be able to come back this time.”

Chan let out a loud sob. It broke Felix’s heart. Chan was burdening himself so much…

“Are you done?” Felix’s captor asked, visibly annoyed.

Felix didn’t want to be done with this call, but it had to end at some point. It hurt him, knowing that he would probably never talk to him ever again. He knew it was probably hurting Chan even more. He was their leader, he was always taking care of them, trying to carry the weight of their whole group and all their mistakes. So, Felix said one last thing to him…

“Chan… It’s ok if you can’t save me.”

He heard Chan’s breath catch in his throat at the words. “I’m sorry, Felix. I’m so sorry!” Felix’s hyung cried.

“Alright, that’s enough.” His captor ended the call then and destroyed the phone right after. Felix looked at the broken object with anguish, before his tormentor’s voice brought him back to reality. “Now, let’s leave this place, because I don’t believe them. They’ll tell the police for sure.”

Felix gulped and tried to get as far away from the towering man as he could, but, in the end, he just couldn’t escape him.

He couldn’t…

 

—

 

Chan stared helplessly at the silent phone in his hands.

“Do you have it?” Hyunjin asked the police officer right away.

“Yes, we have his location. We’ll get a team there right away. And don’t worry, we’ll do everything to get him back safe and sound.”

It was their last hope.


	6. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi dear readers!!
> 
> This chapter is super long, because I didn't want to cut it in half. There will be two endings in the next update, one sad and one happy, to please everyone (myself included). 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is also really sad. Be mindful of the trigger warnings as well, as usual. 
> 
> AND PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT <3 
> 
> Thanks!!
> 
> (Tumblr: Wakeyx)

“Don’t worry, my dear Felix, we’ll find somewhere else to live peacefully together, I promise,” the man told him, as they drove away from the abandoned building Felix had been held in the past few days.

Felix had trouble staying conscious and understanding what was happening now. He was tired, he had lost so much blood and barely drank or eaten in the past days… His tormentor had forcefully put a huge shirt on Felix before he had tied his wrists and put a cloth gag in his mouth once more. After that, he had freed Felix’s cuffed ankle and the idol had been carried outside to the man’s van, where he had been placed on the backseat.

They drove for a long time. Felix barely staying awake, listening to his band’s music with longing while looking outside the tinted window, envying the birds who could fly freely to any places they desired.

Chan and the others were looking for him. He had to believe in them that they would find him, even if he was already gone from where he had been held.

Finally, after a couple hours, his captor stopped at a random gas station that was completely deserted.

“Stay silent here, I’m coming back soon. Gotta fill this beast,” the man said, tapping the wheel of the van, startling Felix a bit with the sudden sound.

Felix didn’t say anything in response, remaining slumped against the door of the car, looking outside the window, and the silence seemed satisfying enough for the man who left a few seconds later.

A few minutes passed, and then, when his captor was paying for the gas, a small car pulled up beside them, probably to use to other fuel pump. A young woman got out. Felix looked at his captor still talking to the cashier.

He could do something, try something, he had to…

He wiggled to the left door, closest to the girl, and tried to open it vainly, the safety lock was on. He still had to try getting her attention somehow. He knew she probably couldn’t see him because of the tinted windows, but if she could only hear him, notice something was wrong...

He squeezed his eyes shut as he pushed his still tender shoulder to the door, letting out a muffled scream when it triggered a wave of pain. He tried again, and again, and again… Maybe it would be enough. Please, let it be enough! Come on!

The driver’s door was opened wide then and Felix opened his eyes in hopes that it was her only to recognize his tormentor. Felix felt immense despair when the man sat in the driver seat, closed the door and turned to face him. Felix froze in fear when he saw the man pointing a gun at him.

“I said to stay silent, you dumb bitch,” the man said angrily, making Felix shiver in dread. “I’d prefer to keep you alive, you see, but if you can’t be a good boy, I’ll settle with your corpse.”

Felix felt nauseous. This was messed up… He just wanted to live his dream of becoming an idol and be happy with his friends and family. Why did he have to experience this hell?

Felix couldn’t help the terrified and pleading look he directed toward the man. He didn’t want to die like this. His dead body… Felix wouldn’t be able to rest in peace.

After a long tense moment, the man finally put the gun away and left the gas station.

Felix slumped once more against the door and let a few sorrowful tears fall. He had thought that he could still fight somehow, but now… Now he knew that he risked too much fighting back.

He risked letting the man completely take away everything from him.

The man was armed and had visibly reached his limit.

Felix had known how dangerous the situation was…

But now he was really facing the extent of it.

Felix’s life was in his captor’s hands.

Was there still hope now?

 

—

 

“We were too late. He’s already gone,” the police officer informed the three boys as he joined them near the police car.

They had been waiting for this whole operation to end, for Felix to be saved, only to be told that they were too late? No. No, Chan couldn’t accept it!

“What do you mean? He was supposed to be here!” Hyunjin said angrily. “You said you had found his location!”

“He was here,” the police officer answered with a sigh.

“What?” Seungmin asked.

“There was a room…”

Chan ran inside right as the words were out, passing swiftly by the several police officers that roamed the building. He went down the stairs, where there seemed to be more activity and finally arrived to the said room, where detectives and other police officers were looking around, searching for anything useful to this whole operation.

Chan’s heart dropped. This… This was more than troubling. Destroyed posters of Felix covered the entire room. There was a cuff linked to a chain anchored in the centre of the room. Above it a single weak light dangled from the ceiling, lighting the ground where Chan saw a concerning amount of blood.

He felt disconnected from reality as his mind processed what horrifying sight he was facing.

No sound reached his ears anymore. His friends’ touch didn’t register as he collapsed to his knees.

 _“I’m ok, hyung!”_ Felix had assured Chan _. “I’m ok…”_

Felix had lied, he had doubted Felix was ok, but this…. Chan could almost feel how frightened Felix must have felt, and the blood… How hurt was he really? What worrying wounds had made him bleed like this? Felix was going through some sickening real-life nightmare, but still told Chan that it was ok if they didn’t save him. Defeated tears fell down Chan’s eyes as a sob broke out of his throat.

His brother… His little brother was still in the hands of the monster who had caused all their suffering, and it hurt him so much. His heart was filled with pain at his helplessness.

They just had a dream, they just wanted to be idols, to make people smile when listening to their music…

Why were they hurting so much now?

They didn’t deserve to be wounded this way. None of them deserved this… Felix truly didn’t deserve this…

“Officer Park?” The officer responsible for the trio was called over the radio on his chest. ”A woman called from her cellphone, and it seems she followed the black van we suspect is linked to the disappearance of Lee Felix. I sent you her current coordinates. Please head there right away. Backup is also on its way.”

“Roger that.”

Chan stood up right away.

He wasn’t giving up on his little brother.

He was going there too.

 

—

 

**[TW: Violence, mental and physical abuse, non-con, attempted rape, car accident, blood, firearm use…]**

The car came to a stop and Felix tensed in his seat. They had turned in what looked like a private trail, not paved and really bumpy, coursing through the forest.

The deeper they went, the more uneasy Felix felt.

Something inside the young idol was telling him that he was going to die wherever the man was bringing him and it made his heart ache in fear.

He didn’t want to… At least not alone in the middle of the forest with a deranged man.

He wished he could see his family and his friends again.

If only one last time he could hang out and have fun with them all, hold Changbin’s hand, talk with Chan and Woojin, laugh with Jisung, Minho and Hyunjin, play around with Jeongin and Seungmin… He missed them all so much. And his parents too. His mother must be worried sick…

“Come here…”

Felix was roughly taken back to reality by the sound of his captor’s voice as he opened the door the idol was slumped against.

The man took Felix in his arms, and the younger man let out a whimper at the pain the man’s touch triggered all over his body, but especially in his back, where the whipping wounds were still relatively fresh.

“Don’t worry, I’m here…” The man comforted him, and Felix hated him. He despised him so damn much. How could he think that these words were comforting?! All Felix wanted was for his tormentor to disappear, to leave him alone, to die… Felix didn’t even mind being left alone in the woods. He just wanted the man to never touch him again.

As soon as Felix noticed the old warehouse toward which they were heading, a wave of fear took a hold of his mind and body. He struggled in the man’s hands, trying to get away, dreading going in there. With the intensity of his struggle, the man finally let go of him, and Felix fell hard on the ground. The pain he felt was nothing compared to the overwhelming emotions that filled him in that moment.

He scrambled back as much as he could before the man looked really tired of his attitude.

He walked up to Felix and grabbed him by the hair before dragging him roughly inside the old building. There, Felix was thrown to the ground and the man dropped down on one knee in between Felix’s tied feet. He leaned over his captive before grabbing his hair once more and forcefully tilting his head back. Felix couldn’t take in air it seemed, he was too terrified, he didn’t want the man to touch him anymore…

He wanted to be free! To be safe at home! To be far away from here!

“I’m done with you still trying to oppose me,” the man decided with an angry voice that made Felix instantly stop squirming. “I thought my warning from earlier would be enough, but it looks like you need me to break you completely.”

Felix’s panicked breathing quickened even more as he felt the other man’s hand caress the length of his naked thigh before dragging the bottom of the oversized shirt up, uncovering Felix’s bottom. He was completely vulnerable. The man then brought his hand up to his cloth gag, and roughly removed it, before completely letting go of the younger boy.

“No… P-please, don’t do this,” Felix pleaded.

The man then looked down hungrily at the struggling boy under him.

Felix whimpered in fear, tears streaming down his face, as the man unzipped his pants.

He prayed to any higher power to make it all stop.

He prayed with all his soul that the man wouldn’t do what Felix dreaded more than being killed.

The man leaned down and kissed the idol’s neck. Felix let out a sob in despair, feeling the man’s disgusting body press down on him.

“You are mine, and you’ll always be,” the man whispered eagerly as he started to grind against him.

“N-no… Don’t…”

Felix’s body was a trembling mess, as he was still desperately trying to escape the man on top of him and his sickening touch. He felt nauseous, overwhelmed with terror and revulsion.

It couldn’t be happening.

It couldn’t…

It was a nightmare…

No, it wasn’t… It wasn’t a nightmare. Felix would never wake up from it. He would bear the scars and suffer the trauma of it until his dying breath.

It was real.

And now reality had become hell to him.

Suddenly, the man on top of him stood up, swiftly putting his pants back on as he made his way out for a second and came back cursing loudly.

“Shit! There’s no way they already found me!” He growled.

Felix got back up in a sitting position and scrambled away from the man, making sure that the oversized shirt came back down to cover his private parts once more. He was confused and scared, but so glad that he couldn’t feel the man’s disgusting hands on him anymore.

Then he heard it, what his tormentor had noticed… The sound of sirens in the distance.

The man walked back to Felix and quickly forced him up on his shaky legs before leading them both back to the black van. This time, the man put Felix in the passenger seat.

“Don’t try anything funny, or you’ll regret it,” the man warned him before he turned on the car and went back down the private trail, toward the main road.

Felix was still terrified and shocked by what had just happened, what had also almost occurred… He could only cry in relief, but also in dread, that this terrible eventuality was interrupted. At least, the man hadn’t broken him completely yet. Felix still had chances to be saved, but time was running out and he knew it.

So, when the van finally made it out of woods and crossed paths with incoming police cars turning right in this exact trail… when he saw Chan, Hyunjin and Seungmin at the back of the first car… He knew he had to do something. So, just as the man was accelerating on the road, Felix jumped on the wheel and suddenly they were flying.

Felix blacked out for a moment.

When he opened his eyes once more, his whole body felt numb.

“…y did you do that? Why?!”

He recognized the dull voice right away, even through his confusion. It sent shivers down his spine.

He was dragged out the van by his shoulders, eliciting a feeling of agony throughout his whole body. Felix let out a loud broken scream. Everything hurt so much… He was exhausted. He just wanted to pass out again, but, of course, his own body wouldn’t allow him this grace.

And then, his tormentor’s bloody face appeared right on top of him.

“I wish we could’ve had more time together, my beautiful doll.” The man cried, taking Felix’s face in his trembling hands, like he was truly the most precious thing to him. “Let’s die together, so we can at least be united in death, ok?”

Felix’s eyes widened then, his heart clenching in fear at the realization of what he had just said. He would’ve fought, but he didn’t have any strength left in him at all. The man took out his gun and pointed it at Felix’s stomach.

“P-please… Don’t do this… Don’t kill me,” Felix tried.

“I’m sorry, doll. If we can’t be together, life’s not worth living.”

“Don’t move!” A police officer yelled from their left. Felix turned his head toward the voice. He had forgotten that they were here, that he had done that because he had seen his friends.

He recognized them right away, behind the many police officers that were slowly closing in on their position.

“I love you,” the man murmured in Felix’s ear then.

BANG!

Felix felt fire in his stomach. There were screams.

BANG!

His tormentor fell to the ground beside him, unmoving.

There were sounds and people running to them, but all he could really focus on was Chan, Hyunjin and Seungmin running toward him.

His brothers, they had found him.

A metallic taste filled his mouth.

His brothers fell on their knees beside him as police officers put a painful pressure on the bullet wound in his stomach. Chan was crying, screaming things that didn’t reach his ears, Hyunjin was holding his hand and Seungmin was clearly in shock. Felix smiled softly at them, as if trying to reassure them that everything was going to be ok.

He wondered where the others were. He wished he could have seen them all one last time as well. Changbin, Woojin, Jisung, Minho, Jeongin…

A bit of warmth filled his chest before he let out one last exhale.

He closed his eyes slowly.

He was free now…


	7. Light (SAD ENDING)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi dear readers!! 
> 
> So, this is the sad ending, and it hurts :) 
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT :3
> 
> Thanks!!
> 
> (Want to talk about your favourite kpop groups? Or share prompts or ideas for future fanfics? Send me a message or an ask on Tumblr: Wakeyx)

**SAD ENDING**

 

 

 

Woojin was running after his friends. Why was he so slow? Why were they not waiting for him?

“Guys? Wait up! Don’t leave me behind!” He told them, angst growing inside of him as none of them seemed to have heard him.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder. He stopped running and turned around.

Only an empty white landscape faced him. Confused, he turned back around and found a dark landscape on the other side, he was right in the middle, right at the separation. The feeling of anxiety inside of him was getting really uncomfortable.

“Hello? Anyone?” He asked, looking both ways, unsure of where to head now.

No response answered him, so he turned toward the white landscape. Who would want to go toward the darkness anyway? Just as he was about to make his first step, Chan’s voice erupted from the darkness.

“No, Woojin! WOOJIN!”

Woojin turned around, startled and concerned. Why did Chan sound so terrified? What was happening?

“Chan?”

Silence again.

“Chan?!”

He was about to run toward the darkness this time, wanting to get to his friend, but his eyes caught the sight of someone a few metres beside him, walking from the darkness to the light.

“Felix?” He asked, recognizing him almost immediately.

Felix didn’t seem to hear him, so he ran to him and got right in front of him just as he reached the separation between light and dark. Felix looked up at him, confusion evident on his face.

“Woojin? What are you doing here?” Felix asked.

“I… I don’t know. What about you?”

Felix didn’t answer, his eyes darted toward the light. He looked out of it, as if he was sleepwalking.

“I want… to go,” Felix said, pointing to the light.

“Why? What’s there?”

“Peace.”

Woojin was even more confused now. He looked toward the dark once more, recalling Chan’s voice coming from there.

“What about Chan and the others? Aren’t they over there?” Woojin asked.

Felix’s eyes widened and he turned to look at the darkness too.

“I… I don’t want to get back there, Woojin. Even with Chan and the others.”

The younger boy looked more aware now, but the expression on his face was in no way comforting. Felix freed himself from Woojin’s grip delicately.

“Why?!”

“You weren’t there… You don’t know,” Felix told him. “I was gone. I was hurt.”

“I don’t understand, Felix.”

“You have to get back to them, but I can’t. I’m tired. I want...” Felix didn’t finish his sentence, only looking at the light.

“No, you have to go back with me. We need you!” Woojin tried to convince him.

Felix’s eyes met his again, but this time he seemed completely conscious of what was happening. He smiled sadly at him, tears pooling in his eyes, making Woojin tear up himself.

“Goodbye, hyung.”

Felix took a step toward the light once more and when Woojin tried to stop him, the younger boy simply dissolved into the light.

Tears fell down his cheeks. He felt it in his soul, that if he didn’t follow him, he wouldn’t see him again for a long time. It pained him…

He looked between the darkness and the light.

What to do?

 

—

 

Felix was… He was gone…

It had been confirmed only a couple of minutes ago, but Chan knew before… He had felt Felix’s body go limp. He had seen him take his last breath… It hurt… It hurt more than anything he had ever experienced in his damn life.

Chan was standing outside the others’ room, waiting for their mourning cries to break his heart as Hyunjin and Seungmin took it upon themselves to tell the others the terrible news. Chan had reached his limit. He needed time… He couldn’t be there for them like he wanted to now, it was too hard.

Chan’s cellphone rung and he took it in his still bloody hands. When he saw the name of the caller, he gulped in fear. He had to take the call. It was definitely about Woojin.

With trembling fingers and a heavy painful lump in his throat, he answered.

“Chan? It’s about Woojin, something happened…”

Chan collapsed in tears as Woojin’s brother told him the news.

Woojin had woken up.

He was ok, he was truly out of danger now.

The phone clattered to the ground as Chan cried all the remaining tears his body contained. It was so messed up, he was crying of sadness because of Felix’s death, but also of pure happiness, because at least Woojin was alright.

Changbin appeared at some point, holding him and rocking them both as they cried together. He told him the news about Woojin through the tears and they broke down even more after that, the others joining them soon after in this needed embrace.

They weren’t ok.

But they weren’t completely broken either.

They just needed time to mourn, heal and learn to smile again.

 

—

 

Woojin crouched down in front of the tombstone.

Lee Felix

2000–2019

It had been a year already, but they would always remember how their brother had been taken away from them, tortured and then killed in the span of a few days. Woojin had been fighting for his life the whole time, until the same day as Felix’s death, when he finally regained consciousness and defied all odds with an incredibly quick recovery.

Changbin was the one who told him about Felix’s death.

Woojin felt like he knew it already, but it still hurt terribly. He had cried in Changbin’s embrace for hours.

The funerals were heartbreaking too and it was hard to get through it all after that, but they did their best to stay united and strong. Felix would’ve wanted them to keep the band going, to continue their dream.

After months of psychological and medical support, they were finally able to make a comeback. Their old dances had an empty spot, never filled, as if Felix was still there with them.

They missed him terribly. Their energy wasn’t the same anymore, but they would be ok, they would keep going forward. They would heal, that’s what they were always telling themselves. A scar would always remain, but the pain would fade slowly with time…

Woojin placed a flower on the ground.

“At least you found peace,” Woojin murmured.

A few seconds later, the others joined him, also placing flowers and other gifts on the ground.

They smiled, laughed, recalled memorable moments of their last year, as if they could share a bit of their memories with their lost brother even if he was not there anymore. They let some tears fall at some point, it was an emotional roller coaster.

The afternoon passed so fast, and soon the sun was setting on the horizon.

As Woojin followed his friends out of the cemetery, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned around, startled, and for a moment, in a last ray of light, he saw him.

Felix, standing beside his tombstone and waving at them with a peaceful smile.

Woojin smiled back, the vision was gone almost as soon as he saw it.

Then, he turned around and walked away from the sunset.


	8. Darkness (HAPPY ENDING)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi dear readers!!
> 
> Here's the happy ending! :)
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT :3
> 
> Thanks!!
> 
> (Want to talk about your favourite kpop groups? Or share prompts or ideas for future fanfics? Send me a message or an ask on Tumblr: Wakeyx)

**HAPPY ENDING**

 

 

 

Woojin was running after his friends. Why was he so slow? Why were they not waiting for him?

“Guys? Wait up! Don’t leave me behind!” He told them, angst growing inside of him as none of them seemed to have heard him.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder. He stopped running and turned around.

Only an empty white landscape faced him. Confused, he turned back around and found a dark landscape on the other side, he was right in the middle. The feeling of anxiety inside of him was getting really uncomfortable.

“Hello? Anyone?” He asked, looking both ways, unsure of where to head now.

No response answered him, so he turned toward the white landscape. Who would want to go toward the darkness anyway? Just as he was about to make his first step, Chan’s voice erupted from the darkness.

“No, Woojin! WOOJIN!”

Woojin turned around, startled and concerned. Why did Chan sound so terrified? What was happening?

“Chan?”

Silence again.

“Chan?!”

He was about to walk inside the darkness, wanting to get to his friend, but his eyes caught the sight of someone beside him, walking from the darkness to the light.

“Felix?” He asked, recognizing him almost immediately.

Felix didn’t seem to hear him, so he ran up to him and got right in front of him as he reached the line between light and dark. Felix looked up at him, confusion evident on his face.

“Woojin? What are you doing here?” Felix asked.

“I… I don’t know. What about you?”

Felix didn’t answer, his eyes darted toward the light. He looked out of it.

“I want… to go,” Felix said, pointing to the light.

“Why? What’s there?”

“Peace.”

Woojin was even more confused. He looked toward the dark once more, recalling Chan’s voice coming from there.

“What about Chan and the others? Aren’t they over there?” Woojin asked.

Felix eyes widened and he turned to look at the darkness too.

“Chan…”

Felix’s eyes met his again, but this time he seemed more aware of what was happening. He smiled sadly at him, tears pooling in his eyes, making Woojin tear up himself.

“It’s gonna hurt, to get back there,” Felix said.

“What do you mean? What’s there?”

“I was hurt. I don’t want to feel any more pain.”

“But, Felix, you’ll heal. And we’ll be by your side to help you through it.”

“What about you? Aren’t you scared? You were hurt too,” Felix asked.

“I’ll heal too. Our friends need us,” Woojin tried to convince him.

“Felix!” Changbin’s voice boomed from the darkness.

“Please… Please come back to us... Both of you, we need you,” Hyunjin’s prayers resounded.

“Hyungs, stay with us…” Jeongin’s voice echoed.

They both turned toward the darkness.

Tears fell down their cheeks at the sound of their friend, calling them from the scary unknown. Woojin looked at Felix and they both met eyes with a new confidence.

“Let’s go back home together, ok?” Woojin asked.

“Ok, yeah.”

They held hands as they took a step forward in the darkness.

 

—

 

Despite the scars and despite the trauma they had experienced and the emotional instability that they had to deal with in the months that followed, they healed, just like they had all believed would happen. They would still remain changed by the events, but they were alive and still living their dream together.

It had been the hardest for Felix, since he was unsure of wanting to continue being an idol after his traumatizing experience with the obsessed fan. At least, the man was dead now, so he didn’t have to be scared of him ever again.

With the help and reassurances from his friends, he was finally able to give it a try again after a year in a hiatus.

The first time they made their comeback on stage, Felix felt really alive again.

Yes, despite it all, being a part of this incredible band and performing with them really made him happy.

He had visited hell, and now he was back.

“Are you coming, Lix? The film is about to start!” Jisung called from the living room.

He arrived with a big bowl of popcorn and sat over Changbin’s lap, putting his legs on Woojin and Chan’s lap sitting beside them.

They laughed and Changbin put his arms around him, Jisung and Minho took away his popcorn bowl. Changbin wouldn’t let him go to retrieve it, but after pouting a bit he settled in the other boy’s embrace.

Felix smiled softly at the warmth surrounding him.

Yeah… This was his own heaven on earth.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT ^.^
> 
> You can also follow me (send me messages or asks too!) on Tumblr: Wakeyx


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